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These are the types of guys I feel we foreign girls encounter most. ” I think that’s generally a big problem – not only when trying to find an “honest” relationship, but also true friends.I’ve heard from many people that they were just “used” as an opportunity to get free English lessons (or whatever their native language was).My first Japanese boyfriend would go for weeks without contacting me because he was working late every day.Also, a general lack of e-mailing, phone calls etc. Although I don’t think that this just applies to Japanese men!I bet it’s difficult to filter the ones who are truly interested.“There are a lot of stereotypes and some girls use them for their own personal gain.In general, Japanese men are likely to be embarrassed about showing affection in public – even things like putting an arm around someone’s shoulders, or hugging, never mind kissing.

At first I was happy about this, because I wanted to speak Japanese.

Even after we’d been broken up for a few months he’d still write to me and ask what I was doing and how I was …” When I started dating my husband, I didn’t really feel that we had any cultural barriers.

I guess because by then I’d been in Japan long enough that I knew my way around and I had lived with two Japanese host families, so I have a good sense of Japanese manners and customs.

At first, we went through periods where we would only speak English (which I didn’t like) or when we would only speak Japanese (which he didn’t like). ” “I think in general, it’s important to be very open about what you are expecting from the relationship.

Obviously we change it according to the circumstances (we are not going to speak in English to each other when out with a lot of Japanese friends! If you need a lot of hugs and affection, make sure that he knows and don’t just get annoyed that he’s not automatically doing it.

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