Dating rules after divorce

The following are my suggestions for your ten commandments of dating after divorce.

One: Your “Must Haves”Take some time to generate this list; do not assume what it contains.

Most middle-years children need some time to adjust to their parents' sep­aration before their mother or father begins having new romantic interests.

In general, a good guideline is about a six-month wait from the time you separate from your spouse to the time you start to date, although dating will often oc­cur sooner.

Three: Release Expectations and View Each Encounter as a Lesson This is a big one. If you enter each date excepting a positive experience, you will be disappointed at least some of the time.

This was a lesson that I learned from my current beau of 2 years.Two: Your “Must Not Haves”This list compliments the one above and, in fact, you may find that it is generated at the same time. Even the ambiguous will have meaning to you as you meet people.Like with your “must haves,” you may find that some of these are rather concrete and others are vague and hard to define. Two of my items on the “must not have” list were 1) cannot be dishonest (uhmm..great. ) and 2) cannot have kids or want kids (I have pretty strong feelings on this one and it’s not fair to start a relationship with someone who does not match me here). Just let that thought go like a helium balloon in the wind. Not every date you go one will be good, but every date you go one will teach you something.___Dating after divorce tends to be a deliberate action, entered into consciously and tentatively after years or even decades with the same person.This can be an opportunity for you to clarify your needs and the needs of a relationship before you step out on that first date.

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